A change of plan but a positive birth

I honestly can’t believe how everything unfolded, and there were so many things from our hypnobirthing sessions that made such a difference.

So, as you know, the plan was to potentially have a home birth, provided everything was looking good. We had Sharon, our independent midwife, on call, and because we live quite far from the hospital, it was reassuring to know she was there in case things progressed really quickly.

As I was approaching 41 weeks, Sharon became a little concerned that the baby’s growth hadn’t really changed over the previous week or so. She suggested we have a scan, partly to check everything was okay and whether we could still go ahead with a home birth, or whether we needed to start thinking about plan B.

We went for the scan on Thursday, and it showed that his growth had been static and that there was also less fluid around him. He was absolutely fine in himself, but obviously the concern was why he wasn’t growing. We were sent to triage for further monitoring, and after speaking to the obstetrician, the recommendation was that we shouldn’t wait too much longer and should ideally look at induction over the weekend if nothing happened naturally.

I was pretty upset and anxious about this. Obviously, my absolute priority was that he was safe, but I really didn’t want to be induced. Having already experienced an induction with my first born, and having spent so much time in hospital waiting around for appointments and monitoring, I was worried about the whole process. I didn’t particularly trust how things would unfold once we were in the system, and I was concerned that decisions would start being made quickly and that I’d lose that sense of control.

We decided to stay in Exeter that night because they wanted us back the following afternoon to discuss induction and what the plan would look like.

On Friday, Jonny and I went for lunch, had a walk and climbed a pretty big hill before heading back to the hospital for our appointment. We were sitting in the room waiting to be seen, and I decided to do a few stretches. I went into a really deep squat, held it for a while and, as I stood up, my waters broke!

The funny thing is that, literally just beforehand, Jonny had said:

“Baby boy, if you’re going to make an appearance, now would be a really good time.”

And then my waters broke at 3pm!

I honestly couldn’t believe the timing. It felt like he had actually listened.

The midwife confirmed that my waters had broken, which meant they weren’t going to do any further examinations. We then had to wait to speak to a doctor because, given the concerns about growth and fluid, we wanted to make sure they were happy for us to have some time to see whether labour would start naturally rather than immediately moving towards induction.

Thankfully, the doctor agreed we could wait, but we ended up being in the hospital for hours. We’d arrived at around 2 pm and didn’t leave until 7:30 pm!

On the way back to the hotel, I was speaking to Sharon on the phone, and while I was talking to her, I had my first proper contraction. It was noticeably stronger than anything I’d felt before, and I remember thinking, okay, maybe something is actually starting.

We got back to the hotel, I had a shower and we started making the room as calm as possible. I had my lavender on cotton wool, which I’d actually been carrying in my pocket whenever we went into hospital, the room was really dark, and I put on my hypnobirthing tracks.

By about 8:30pm, the contractions were getting strong enough that I really needed to concentrate and breathe through them. I had my TENS machine on, which was amazing, and I was listening almost continuously to the tracks. So, for those first two or three hours of labour, I had your voice in my head guiding me through it, which was incredibly reassuring.

At 10:10 pm, the contractions were around 10 minutes apart. I’d spoken to Sharon, who said I’d know when they became regular because they’d start following a much more consistent pattern.

Within the next hour, everything suddenly ramped up. They went from 10 minutes apart, to 7, to 6 and then suddenly 3 minutes apart. I was trying to time them on my phone, but eventually they were coming so quickly and were so intense that I couldn’t track them anymore.

Jonny had spoken to triage, who’d said to come in once they were around five minutes apart.

At 11:12pm, he rang to say we were on our way.

I remember him saying, “Right, I think we need to move.” And I was saying, “No, no, I think we’ve still got time. He was having absolutely none of it!

We’d only been back in the hotel room for about two hours, but in that time everything had completely changed.

One of the things I found really interesting was how much I managed to stay in my own world during the transfer to hospital. I remembered from our sessions how important it was to try to stay in that relaxed, focused state, and I’d always wondered how realistic that would be when I suddenly had to get up, leave somewhere comfortable and make my way into hospital.

But somehow I managed it. I had my headphones in, your voice still guiding me through the tracks, my eyes were closed for most of the time, and I completely blocked everything else out.

I think I had two contractions just getting from our hotel room down to reception. At one point I was standing in the lobby, swaying through a contraction, completely silent, while the man behind reception was just looking at us! Jonny was trying to get us moving, and I was totally in my own zone.

I wasn’t making much noise at this stage, but I couldn’t really speak either. I just needed to concentrate on getting through each contraction.

We arrived at the hospital at 11:30pm, and strangely, I think the fact that we’d been there so many times actually helped. We’d been in for monitoring a few weeks earlier, then the day before and again that afternoon, so walking into the hospital, going up the stairs and finding triage all felt quite familiar. It wasn’t a completely new environment that I suddenly had to adjust to.

Going in at night also made such a difference. Everything was so much quieter.

We got into our room at around 11:50pm, and we completely lucked out. It was a massive room with a lovely big birth pool, loads of space, fairy lights and really soft lighting. It was dark and calm and honestly didn’t feel particularly like a hospital at all. It was pretty perfect.

Our hospital midwife, Tess, was also lovely. She had a really calm, relaxed energy, which was exactly what I needed.

By this point, I was so far into my own world that I could barely answer questions. I remember Tess asking me my date of birth, and I could just about get the words out!

I was having contractions all over the room, trying to work out where I wanted to be. At one point I was leaning over the bed, then I was on the floor, and then I kept feeling like I needed the toilet. Every time I went to the toilet, there was an enormous amount of pressure, and I remember thinking, I feel like I could actually push!

There was also a moment when I found myself going up onto my tiptoes and bringing my knees in during a contraction. I remembered we’d spoken about women doing this instinctively during labour, and even though I wasn’t particularly conscious of what was happening, I remember thinking that it was probably a good sign.

I really wanted to get into the pool, but Tess needed to check how the baby was doing first. It was quite difficult to monitor him because I was moving around so much, and they even tried attaching a monitor to his head, but that didn’t work either. Eventually, they were able to listen in manually during contractions.

As soon as I was able to get into the pool, it was such a relief. The warm water made a massive difference, especially as everything had happened so quickly and the contractions were so intense.

I was still using the breathing techniques, some visualisations and affirmations. Jonny also gave me my comb, which really helped.

I think one of the biggest things throughout the whole labour was that I had my eyes closed for almost all of it. I opened them occasionally, but for the vast majority of the time they were shut. I was so focused on what my body was doing, and I genuinely think that helped me stay in that state.

Sharon arrived at 12:50am, and I can’t really explain how much of a difference that made.

Because my eyes were closed, I remember hearing her voice before anything else, and even recognising her smell, which sounds a bit strange! But just knowing she was there gave me this sudden boost of confidence. It was almost like, okay, I’ve got this, I can do it.

Jonny was also amazing throughout. He wasn’t constantly asking me questions or trying to get me to do things. He said afterwards that he could see I was doing what I needed to do, and he didn’t feel frightened or nervous. He just gave me space, but was there when I needed him, stroking my arms and gently putting pressure on my shoulders when I was pushing.

There was a brief moment towards the end when I remember thinking, how much longer can I actually do this? Do I need gas and air or some other pain relief? But it was really short-lived, and before I knew it, we were getting close to meeting him.

Apparently, the baby had been right down on my perineum for quite a while, and Tess was starting to suggest that I needed to push. Sharon was there to help guide things, and rather than actively coaching me through every contraction, they helped me understand how I needed to change my breathing.

Up until that point, I’d been breathing out through the contractions, but they explained that I needed to start directing that breath downwards and keeping the pressure internally. It took me a few contractions to get my head around it, but then suddenly it clicked. And before I knew it, his head was out!

I could actually feel him twisting around underwater, which was such a strange sensation. They helped me change position into more of a lunge, and with another contraction, his body came out.

And then I caught him!

He was born at 1:41 am, just over six hours after my first proper contraction and less than two hours after we’d arrived in the room.

I remember opening my eyes and suddenly it was like someone had switched the lights back on.

I’d been in this completely different world for hours, and then all of a sudden there he was, in my arms.

I just started laughing and smiling, saying, “I can’t believe he’s here! I did it! I did it!”

I wasn’t crying at all. I was just laughing. I genuinely couldn’t believe what had just happened.

I remember looking at him, then looking at Jonny, then seeing Sharon and Tess and the other midwife, and just feeling this complete elation. I was standing in the pool holding my baby, feeling like the happiest person in the world.

Apparently, the pool was pretty bloody at this point, and Jonny had a slight moment of panic, but I was completely oblivious and everything was fine.

We then got out of the pool and onto the bed, and I felt like the happiest person in the world.

There were a couple of moments afterwards when I was particularly grateful to have Sharon there.

The first was delivering the placenta. Tess asked whether I wanted the injection, and I think because I was still so out of it, I just said yes without really thinking.

But I’d spoken to Sharon beforehand about wanting to deliver the placenta naturally if everything else had gone well, and just as Tess was about to give me the injection, Sharon asked her to hold on a minute.

She wasn’t trying to make things difficult. She just wanted me to have a moment to properly understand my options again, rather than making a decision while I was still coming back down to earth.

She explained that there was no need to rush if everything was looking fine, and that we could just give my body a little time.

She then showed me this trick where, when I felt a contraction, I put my mouth against the back of my hand and blew into it. Tess had apparently never heard of it before! Literally within about two contractions, the whole placenta came out. It was actually really cool.

The other thing was that I’d had a small tear, which was classed as second degree, Tess recommended stitches, but Sharon felt it was a really neat, straightforward tear that would heal well on its own.

There was a bit of discussion between them, and at moments I did feel slightly caught in the middle. But again, what I really appreciated was that Sharon wasn’t saying I shouldn’t have stitches. She was just explaining why she felt they weren’t necessary in this particular case and making sure I understood the options.

In the end, I decided not to have stitches, and thankfully everything has been healing really well.

I think those two moments really summed up something important about the whole experience. It wasn’t about refusing intervention for the sake of it. It was about understanding what was happening, having time to make a decision and knowing that if something was genuinely needed, of course I would have it.

Afterwards, we had hours of lovely uninterrupted skin-to-skin time. We weren’t rushed at all, which was amazing. We had our tea and toast, he was weighed and we just got to enjoy those first few hours together.

Sharon eventually left at around 3am, and we managed to get some sleep. Because the room wasn’t needed, they let us stay there until late morning, which was lovely.

We left the hospital at 10am and were back home by midday!

Looking back, I feel like everything somehow worked out exactly as it was meant to.